Monday we had Braxtons 1st follow up appt with Dr. Adair at her office. We were so excited to go! However, the excitement soon faded into worry- Dr. Adair examined him and he was losing weight at an alarming rate. He lost more than the 1 pound that is normal- he was now down to 6 pounds 9 ounces. He wasnt getting any food from breastfeeding (I told you lactation at lakeside were horrible teachers) - so she made us an emergency appointment with Mercy lactation so we could get Braxton some food. He also had jaundice- she wasnt sure how severe yet so after our lactation lesson we were told to go straight to lakeside to have lab work done on braxton :(
Mercy lactation consultants are such a blessing!!!!! They are patient and kind and knowledgable and such good teachers- everything Lakeside wasnt! We were there about an hour- she weighed Braxton before we started, taught us how to properly breast feed, and then weighed him after. She said we needed to start making sure he got 75cc at each feeding. I was really confused how to tell since you cant measure breast milk like you do formula- but she said to breast feed and she guessed that would be about 60cc and then supplement with formula afterwards. She wanted to see him back that Friday to see if he was gaining weight. And she said we could come in any time for a lesson or weight check before then or call with any questions. Man, I wish I would have delivered at Mercy!
So, now we were on to tackle our 2nd problem- Jaundice. We drove over to Lakeside and checked Braxton in- I just couldn't shake the feeling that I knew something was really wrong with me and the swelling I was experiencing. So since we were already at my doctors building I called up to her office and asked for an appointment. Again, I was told I was fine and it was normal to experience swelling. I literally begged for them to get me in, I told them I was just downstairs in the lab with our baby so they finally agreed to see me in 30minutes.
It was so sad to see them draw blood from your baby- they stuck the needle in his heel- I made Brian hold him- But once the needle was out, he was fine. They put a STAT Rush on his results so they would get them in faster.
Then we headed upstairs to take care of me- one look at my feet and my blood pressure results and I could read my doctors face- I knew it wasn't good. She said that I needed to go downstairs now and do lab work and that they were going to rush those results too and should have them back within a few hours and until then I needed to rest and not get up for anything- ha yah right- I have a newborn!
That evening the phone rang- and it was Dr. Adair personally calling, not just a nurse- thats never a good sign. She said Braxtons levels were at a 16 and would be at 21 by the morning- anything over 20 is life threatening so we needed to get him help ASAP. She said Home Health would be coming out with a machine of lights for him to stay under. She said they would test his blood every day and that until his levels got under 12 we could not pick him up or hold him except to feed him and change his diaper. We both just started crying. We have only had our baby 4 days and it already felt like he was being taken away from us. We were scared and so emotional.
I will never forget what happened next. We were sitting on our love seat, holding Braxton so tight, cuddled up crying when the phone rang again- not even 5 minutes later. This time it was Dr. Hall- again the actual Dr. Hall- not a nurse..... she said my lab work came back and it wasn't good. I needed to be rushed to the hospital immediately to be admitted- and she didn't know how long to expect me to be staying. I knew it was REALLY bad when she asked to talk to Brian- she wanted to prep him emotionally, mentally, and physically for what was about to happen. As if Braxtons news wasn't enough now I was going in too? My poor husband- sleep exhaustion plus high emotions are not a good combo. Now he had his new son and his wife both requiring medical attention- and it was scary. I started crying hysterically on the phone with Dr. Hall because I thought I was going to have to be separated from Braxton and that Brian would have to go back and forth. But thankfully she agreed to work with Dr.Adair and Mercy and allow Braxton to be in my room with me and for his lights to be delivered to Lakeside instead. I will be forever grateful for her taking the time to make that happen- I know it wasn't easy.
So we got all our bags packed and Braxton packed- even though they were letting him come with us, they made it VERY clear he was no longer their patient and would offer no help, assistance, or supplies for him. This was very stressful on 4 day old parents! We really had no idea what was going on- and no one was really explaining anything. All we knew at the time was I had post pardum eclampsia and it wasn't good. On the way to the hospital I googled it- and I read causes siezures, strokes, and death. That was enough for me, I put my phone down and took a big deep breathe. In my head I was just praying to God that I made it to the hospital without have a seizure in the truck and praying that I came out of all this alive and healthy and able to be a wife and mother.
Once I got checked back in they immediately hooked me up to an IV with a Magnesium drip. Let me just tell you how bad that IV hurt. I screamed and cried my head off- and my blood pressure skyrocketed up to the high 180's. The nurses tried to calm me down and it wasn't working- I begged for numbing cream, and again they refused. They kept telling Brian he had to figure out a way to calm me down and get my BP numbers to drop because I was at serious risk of a seizure, stroke, or even worse slipping into a coma.
Postpartum Eclampsia
Postpartum preeclampsia is a rare condition that occurs when a woman has
high blood pressure and excess protein in her urine soon after
childbirth.
Most cases of postpartum preeclampsia develop within 48 hours of
childbirth. However, postpartum preeclampsia sometimes develops up to
four to six weeks after childbirth. This is known as late postpartum
preeclampsia.
Postpartum preeclampsia requires prompt treatment. Left untreated,
postpartum preeclampsia can result in seizures and other serious
complications.
Complications of postpartum preeclampsia include:
- Postpartum eclampsia. Postpartum eclampsia is essentially postpartum preeclampsia plus seizures. Postpartum eclampsia can permanently damage vital organs, including your brain, liver and kidneys. Left untreated, postpartum eclampsia can cause coma. In some cases, the condition is fatal.
- Pulmonary edema. This life-threatening lung condition occurs when excess fluid develops in the lungs.
- Stroke. A stroke occurs when the blood supply to part of the brain is interrupted or severely reduced, depriving brain tissue of oxygen and food. A stroke is a medical emergency.
- Thromboembolism. Thromboembolism is the blockage of a blood vessel by a blood clot that travels from another part of the body. This condition is also a medical emergency.
- HELLP syndrome. HELLP syndrome — which stands for hemolysis (the destruction of red blood cells), elevated liver enzymes and low platelet count — can be life-threatening.
What is HELLP Syndrome?
HELLP syndrome is a life-threatening pregnancy complication usually considered to be a variant of preeclampsia. Both conditions usually occur during the later stages of pregnancy, or sometimes after childbirth.HELLP syndrome was named by Dr. Louis Weinstein in 1982 after its characteristics:
H (hemolysis, which is the breaking down of red blood cells), EL (elevated liver enzymes) and LP (low platelet count).
A suspicion of HELLP syndrome can be frustrating to the physician when all requirements for its certain diagnosis are not apparent. In some patients who are developing HELLP syndrome the primary preeclampsia indicators of high blood pressure and protein in the urine may not be present, and its symptoms can be mistaken for gastritis, flu, acute hepatitis, gall bladder disease, or other conditions. While some of these other conditions may also be present, there is no evidence they are related.
Early diagnosis is critical because the morbidity and mortality rates associated with the syndrome have been reported to be as high as 25%. As a result, patient awareness of HELLP syndrome, and how it relates to preeclampsia, is helpful to ensure optimal and timely medical care for mother and baby.
Who is at risk of getting HELLP syndrome?
Among pregnant women in the United States, 5 - 8% develop preeclampsia; 15% of those women develop evidence of HELLP syndrome (15-20% of those with severe preeclampsia), meaning as many as 48,000 women per year will develop HELLP syndrome in the US.
http://www.preeclampsia.org/health-information/hellp-syndrome
Turns out my blood pressure was sky high and the blood work had revealed that my liver was not functioning- it was shutting down. Once the Magnesium IV was in - which is a strong neurological drug- they put a No Visitor sign on the door, turned off every light and told my mom and Brian not to talk to me or turn on the tv- I was to have no stimulation what so ever- my life was in danger. I couldn't eat, couldn't move, couldn't hold or feed my baby, and couldn't go to the bathroom. Even putting a catheter in me would have caused too much stress on my body and caused me to have a seizure, stroke, coma, or even worse. So I had to have a bed pan- by the way those are absolutely awful. I was so dehydrated I begged the nurse to let me have water. The only way I was allowed to drink water was that they had to measure exactly how much I was drinking and then had to measure my output. As long as the two were the same amount I could continue to drink, but if not I would not be allowed to drink anymore. Thankfully my measurements were the same and I was able to keep drinking. The drug is so powerful- my eyes were twitching, I couldn't see straight- I was having double vision and just felt completely drugged unlike I have ever felt before.
Every hour or so the nurse would come in and they would check my feet and legs. they would rotate my ankles in circles and push on my feet. I dont really know what they were doing, but I know I was failing all the tests because they brought in all their students and nurses in training to do a real life lesson of HELLP syndrome- thats not really the test dummy you want to be!
Every hour or so the nurse would come in and they would check my feet and legs. they would rotate my ankles in circles and push on my feet. I dont really know what they were doing, but I know I was failing all the tests because they brought in all their students and nurses in training to do a real life lesson of HELLP syndrome- thats not really the test dummy you want to be!
The other huge obstacle we had- feeding Braxton. They absolutely would not allow us to incline the bed up so I could breast fed- they would not allow me to move an inch from being completely on my left side. So- they had to bring in 3 of the pediatric nurses plus Brian and they had to manually express my milk to feed to Braxton. It was a nightmare! We had a pump but the way I was laying the milk wouldn't flow from the pump to the bottle, so they had to "catch" it in these little cups and then pour it into Braxtons bottle- it was so difficult to do and they were losing over half the milk in the process. So he was ending up getting about 1/4 breast milk, 3/4 formula. And he was still under the lights.
My poor husband- he had only been a dad for a few short days and he was having to do EVERYTHING himself- and worry about me. Thankfully we had family to help us out- my mom was there with us 24/7 and they would take shifts sleeping and feeding Braxton- at this point he was eating every 2 hours- so they also had to take turns getting milk out of me every 2 hours with the nursing staff. I was missing out on so much- I hadn't learned how to feed him, burp him, change his diaper- I wasn't getting to be a mom. I felt like a vegetable. And I felt like I was dying. I really honestly thought this was going to be it.
The next day my blood pressure had lowered a little and my liver was doing better but both were still in the danger zone. We had family coming to check in on us- my oldest brothers wife came and stayed with us during the day to give Brian and my mom some breaks- she has 3 boys herself so she knew how to take good care of Braxton, Brians sister Shannon came and she was able to stay one night with us in the hospital, my dad and his wife were there, our friends Taylor and Teresa- and of course my mom was there the entire time. We were so blessed by the people who came to help us during this time- they will never know how much it meant to us.
The 2nd night we were there they said I could come off the magnesium- I was so thankful! But coming off of the drugs was hard on my body- more double vision and one of my eyes would not open at all. It took awhile and finally they said I could take a shower, assisted. Luckily they let Brian assist me instead of a nurse- I don't remember much about this, but apparently we were pretty funny- the only thing I remember was sitting down in the shower and telling Brian "I'm not a car wash, be more gentle!". Our family and friends in our room were just cracking up listening to us in there. And finally I was able to eat!! Whoo hoo!!!!
The next day Dr. Hall came in and said that the numbers were still going down but that she was still concerned. She felt safe enough to send me home- on powerful medication- and on complete bed rest.
They re-tested Braxton at the hospital and his billirubon levels were still at 13 :( So we hadn't made the magic 12 mark yet...so the lights came home with us....
At this point both Brian and my mom had used up all their time off, so I was left home alone to recover from post partum eclampsia and to take care of a newborn all by myself. Needless to say by this point I had fallen into a depression. I just cried and cried wondering what I had gotten us into. This was so overwhelming and not what I had thought being new parents was going to be like- I had wanted to be healthy, i wanted newborn pictures, I wanted to BE a mom- and instead I couldn't hardly do anything for my baby.
I was now doing expressed breast milk in a bottle. I didn't have the strength to breast feed and it was dangerous for me to be sitting up that long and by doing expressed milk we were able to keep track of exactly how much he was eating and make sure he was gaining weight. The only downfall was the amount of time this took. It took me about 30 min to pump and at this time he was taking an hour to eat- gosh he was such a slow eater- so that was 1 1/2 hours- by the time I cleaned the pump and changed his diaper I had about 10 minutes before the entire cycle started again. I would have given anything for someone to be home with me helping me out.
Mercy sent out a Home Health nurse that would come visit Braxton every day and do lab work on him to test his levels. Finally we reached the magical number 12! And the lights went bye bye! We were soooooo excited!!!!! Braxton is a kicker, has been since day 1 in my belly- so he didnt really like the cover of the lights over him and he definitely kicked a hole right through it :) It felt so amazing to be able to hold him and cuddle him again!
The blood pressure meds I was on were not going over well with my body at all. I was drowsy and dizzy and not able to function normally at all. At this point I was taking about 5 different medications- all of them with the side effect of "extreme drowsiness" and one morning I woke up, REALLY tired, and went to take one of my other medications, when as soon as I swallowed the pill I realized I just took a double dose of my blood pressure medicine. I started to FREAK out- I was already on a max dose so overdosing was very serious at this point. I called the hopsital they said to monitor my levels very closely and come in if they got too high or too low. I did fine all day long- until 4am in the morning.
At this point, me and Brian were pulling shifts to take care of Braxton. I would go to bed from 7pm to 1am and Brian would sleep from 1am to 6am. (Welcome to the life of new parents!) Well at 4am, I got dizzy and I felt like I was about to have a heart attack. I got up off the couch to try to get water and go to the bedroom to get Brian and I couldn't make it. I ended up falling over our dining room chair- I couldn't see, couldn't breathe, it was awful. I tried to yell and couldn't. Somehow I dragged myself back to the bedroom and woke him up- he didn't really understand what was going on and bless his heart he was so exhausted I think he was just mad I woke him up he didn't understand how serious it was. He left me in the bed and went to take care of Braxton- I had told him to take care of me and call 911 but I guess he didn't hear. I tried to find anything close to the bed to throw to make noise so that he would come back, I had left my cell phone in the living room so I couldn't call him. My chest was in extreme pain- I knew I was having a heart attack. I just closed my eyes and prayed harder than I have ever prayed for God to take this away and to keep me alive. I struggled for a good while and then it all let up. I ended up falling asleep and thanks to the good Lord I woke up that next morning alive.
I ended up back in the hospital 3 more times before it was all said and done- Lakeside was not the place to be for something this serious. Brian and my mom...and me...were getting more and more frustrated with them each time. After the 3rd time we decided no matter what we are not going back, its Mercy from now on. Luckily, I didn't have to go back a 4th time.
Long story short, I ended up being on complete bed rest- home by myself with a newborn- for 6 weeks. Finally my blood pressure dropped to the 130s over 90s and I was able to come off the medicine. About 8 weeks I was in the high 120's over high 80's. I don't really know why all this happened to me- I have had perfect blood pressure my whole life and entire pregnancy.
I always wanted a huge family- but seems like God has different plans for us. I have a 60% chance of having HELLP syndrome again and it gets worse with each pregnancy. I also would be at an increased risk of not only having post partum eclampsia but pre eclampsia too, putting our baby's life at risk. We now face the difficult decision to go ahead and risk my life and the babys life and have another kid- putting Brian and Braxton at risk of not having a wife and mother, or we can just try to be as safe as possible, or we have make a permanent decision.
On top of all this- within the first month of having Braxton I got Mastitis not once, but twice. I learned about this is class and it was another one of those sections in the baby books I just skipped right over. But let me tell you- this is worse than any kind of sickness you have ever experienced, worse than the flu, worse than any words could ever explain. You go from being fine to a waterfall of tears in minutes. My fever spiked to 102 degrees, I was shaking uncontrollably, I couldn't walk, breathe, wash my hands nothing- the smallest movement made your chest hurt like a thousand knives were going through you. I literally just laid on the bed or couch crying in pain. The first time I got it, I was really lucky and it was on a Saturday when Brian and my mom were both home with me. It started with a headache all day, which I never get, and by 6pm I was over 100 degree fever and shaking uncontrollably- Brian got me to the urgent care- they took one look at my chest and said I had it bad in both breasts- they told Brian I needed to sleep and do nothing but rest for 48 hours and take antibiotics and a large dose of pain medication. Rest wasn't an option though- we were still pulling 24 hour shifts, so I only got to sleep 4 hours before it was my turn again.
I got mastitis the 2nd time just 2 weeks later, but this time I wasnt so lucky. It happened on a week day while Brian was at work. I had an appt scheduled with my doctor that day for a follow up at 2pm, but by 11am I had the high fever, extreme pain, and uncontrollable shakes. I called Brian at work crying, begging, and pleading for him to come home. Not only was I feeling awful, but I couldnt take care of Braxton. I couldnt hold him- the pain was shooting through my body. His work wouldnt let him leave early- I will never forget that day and just laying on the couch crying waiting for him to come home.
I thought being pregnant was one of the hardest things I had ever gone through, but this recovery was by far the most difficult thing I've ever experienced in my life. Every single second was absolutely worth it to have Braxton in our lives- I thank the Lord daily for the miracles he did to save both me and Braxtons lives!
The blood pressure meds I was on were not going over well with my body at all. I was drowsy and dizzy and not able to function normally at all. At this point I was taking about 5 different medications- all of them with the side effect of "extreme drowsiness" and one morning I woke up, REALLY tired, and went to take one of my other medications, when as soon as I swallowed the pill I realized I just took a double dose of my blood pressure medicine. I started to FREAK out- I was already on a max dose so overdosing was very serious at this point. I called the hopsital they said to monitor my levels very closely and come in if they got too high or too low. I did fine all day long- until 4am in the morning.
At this point, me and Brian were pulling shifts to take care of Braxton. I would go to bed from 7pm to 1am and Brian would sleep from 1am to 6am. (Welcome to the life of new parents!) Well at 4am, I got dizzy and I felt like I was about to have a heart attack. I got up off the couch to try to get water and go to the bedroom to get Brian and I couldn't make it. I ended up falling over our dining room chair- I couldn't see, couldn't breathe, it was awful. I tried to yell and couldn't. Somehow I dragged myself back to the bedroom and woke him up- he didn't really understand what was going on and bless his heart he was so exhausted I think he was just mad I woke him up he didn't understand how serious it was. He left me in the bed and went to take care of Braxton- I had told him to take care of me and call 911 but I guess he didn't hear. I tried to find anything close to the bed to throw to make noise so that he would come back, I had left my cell phone in the living room so I couldn't call him. My chest was in extreme pain- I knew I was having a heart attack. I just closed my eyes and prayed harder than I have ever prayed for God to take this away and to keep me alive. I struggled for a good while and then it all let up. I ended up falling asleep and thanks to the good Lord I woke up that next morning alive.
I ended up back in the hospital 3 more times before it was all said and done- Lakeside was not the place to be for something this serious. Brian and my mom...and me...were getting more and more frustrated with them each time. After the 3rd time we decided no matter what we are not going back, its Mercy from now on. Luckily, I didn't have to go back a 4th time.
Long story short, I ended up being on complete bed rest- home by myself with a newborn- for 6 weeks. Finally my blood pressure dropped to the 130s over 90s and I was able to come off the medicine. About 8 weeks I was in the high 120's over high 80's. I don't really know why all this happened to me- I have had perfect blood pressure my whole life and entire pregnancy.
I always wanted a huge family- but seems like God has different plans for us. I have a 60% chance of having HELLP syndrome again and it gets worse with each pregnancy. I also would be at an increased risk of not only having post partum eclampsia but pre eclampsia too, putting our baby's life at risk. We now face the difficult decision to go ahead and risk my life and the babys life and have another kid- putting Brian and Braxton at risk of not having a wife and mother, or we can just try to be as safe as possible, or we have make a permanent decision.
On top of all this- within the first month of having Braxton I got Mastitis not once, but twice. I learned about this is class and it was another one of those sections in the baby books I just skipped right over. But let me tell you- this is worse than any kind of sickness you have ever experienced, worse than the flu, worse than any words could ever explain. You go from being fine to a waterfall of tears in minutes. My fever spiked to 102 degrees, I was shaking uncontrollably, I couldn't walk, breathe, wash my hands nothing- the smallest movement made your chest hurt like a thousand knives were going through you. I literally just laid on the bed or couch crying in pain. The first time I got it, I was really lucky and it was on a Saturday when Brian and my mom were both home with me. It started with a headache all day, which I never get, and by 6pm I was over 100 degree fever and shaking uncontrollably- Brian got me to the urgent care- they took one look at my chest and said I had it bad in both breasts- they told Brian I needed to sleep and do nothing but rest for 48 hours and take antibiotics and a large dose of pain medication. Rest wasn't an option though- we were still pulling 24 hour shifts, so I only got to sleep 4 hours before it was my turn again.
I got mastitis the 2nd time just 2 weeks later, but this time I wasnt so lucky. It happened on a week day while Brian was at work. I had an appt scheduled with my doctor that day for a follow up at 2pm, but by 11am I had the high fever, extreme pain, and uncontrollable shakes. I called Brian at work crying, begging, and pleading for him to come home. Not only was I feeling awful, but I couldnt take care of Braxton. I couldnt hold him- the pain was shooting through my body. His work wouldnt let him leave early- I will never forget that day and just laying on the couch crying waiting for him to come home.
I thought being pregnant was one of the hardest things I had ever gone through, but this recovery was by far the most difficult thing I've ever experienced in my life. Every single second was absolutely worth it to have Braxton in our lives- I thank the Lord daily for the miracles he did to save both me and Braxtons lives!
Every day is a miracle- I'm blessed to be a wife and mother!
